Oliver Hudson has been married to actress Erinn Bartlett since 2006, which is a long time in Hollywood years. They have three kids together, Wilder Brooks, 16, Bodhi Hawn, 13, and Rio Laura, 10. Oliver also does a podcast with his sister Kate called Sibling Revelry. On this week’s episode, they had Robyn Lively (Blake’s sister) on as a guest. During their discussion, Oliver shared that after he got engaged to Erinn in 2004, he “spiraled” and cheated on her. Despite not getting caught by his then-fiancé, he confessed and promptly went to work to become a better partner and man.
“When I got engaged, something happened psychologically, and I spiraled, and I was unfaithful, and I was cheating, and I was crazy,” Oliver told guest Robyn Lively, who is actress Blake Lively’s sister.
“I never got caught. I told her everything because I couldn’t live with myself and get married and be married and have children with this sort of weight.”
The “Rules of Engagement” actor said he had to get through it “psychologically” before he became the man Bartlett deserved.
“And my mother played a big part in it as well,” he said of his and Kate’s mom Goldie Hawn. “Where it’s about looking at the entirety and the totality of the relationship, not just the action.”
“Even though it might seem extreme, let’s dig in a little bit into why and looking at the whole person rather than this one affliction,” he said, adding that he’s a “good man” who is “not malicious.”
“I was going through whatever I was going through and we were able to sort of therapy and do all of it and get through it,” he continued. “And honestly, if that didn’t happen I don’t know what kind of a person I would be. So do I regret it? I mean no, I guess not. I regret causing pain. I don’t want to cause anyone any pain.”
Lively then asked him if he had any regrets.
“Regret is an interesting word,” Oliver responded. “I’m not sure I have many regrets because if I didn’t, it was a choice that I made, whether it was a positive one or a negative one.”
“I’ve made some horrible, horrible choices in my life just generally. You would think I regret doing that, but I don’t know who I would be if I didn’t make that choice,” he added.
Wow, good on Oliver for taking responsibility for his actions and putting in the work to be a better husband. I like that he took the attitude of ”I don’t know who I would be if I didn’t make that choice” to indicate personal growth instead of taking some BS way out or blaming others for his actions. Cheating is sh-tty and selfish, and no one deserves that disrespect.
As for “Where it’s about looking at the entirety and the totality of the relationship, not just the action,” I know for some people, cheating is an instant deal breaker and for others, it’s a bump in the road. People are complicated and sometimes good people do bad things. What defines a person is how they handle, learn, and grow from their transgressions, and yes, I am referring to specific cases like Oliver and Erinn. There’s no one size fits all for how to handle a situation like theirs, but it goes without saying that if you’re with a chronic cheater, the only answer is to dump their ass.
Photos credit: Michael Simon/startraksphoto.com, PacificCoastNews / Avalon, Getty
